johnro

Category: Professionalism

  • What I Admire Most: Not the Loudest Voice, But the True Leader

    What I Admire Most: Not the Loudest Voice, But the True Leader

    Daily writing prompt
    What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
    View all responses

    If you had asked me this question twenty years ago, my answer would have been immediate, and, looking back, a little superficial.

    When I was young and perhaps a bit naive, I admired performers. I looked up to the people who could stand in front of a crowded room and command attention. I admired the speakers who could think on their feet, the debaters who could win any argument, and the “strong” personalities who never seemed to back down.

    To my younger self, that was leadership. It was about the spotlight. It was about volume. It was about winning.

    But as I’ve gotten older, my definition of “admirable” has shifted entirely. I’ve realized that what I was admiring wasn’t leadership; it was just charisma.

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  • Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

    Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

    When I first started out as a software engineer, I thought I could just keep my head down and focus on code. And for a while, that was true. But as I advanced in my career, I noticed the role was changing. Software engineering isn’t just about writing code—it’s also about communicating, collaborating, designing systems, and getting your ideas across clearly.

    That means that yes, public speaking becomes part of the job. Not in a “you’re on stage every week” kind of way, but in the occasional presentation, design review, or knowledge-sharing session. And because those opportunities are infrequent—especially for ICs—it’s hard to get into a rhythm. You’re often dusting off your presentation nerves every single time. Unless you’re at a higher level where you’re constantly in meetings, cross-team discussions, and stakeholder presentations, public speaking tends to feel more like a pop quiz than a practiced skill.

    I’ve always hated public speaking. But as I’ve grown in my career, I’ve been asked—sometimes “voluntold”—to speak up more often. So I’ve been learning to cope with the discomfort.

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  • Staying Professional When It’s Easier Not To

    Staying Professional When It’s Easier Not To

    Early in my career, I worked closely with a colleague who, for reasons I’ll never fully understand, decided I was “their person.” Whenever something came up — a bug to chase down, a query to run, data to pull — they’d come straight to me. At first, it felt flattering. Being needed always carries a certain weight, especially when you’re new. But over time, the relationship started to drift into something a little more complicated.

    This colleague grew comfortable enough with me to share their unfiltered thoughts about others on the team. They would complain when people spoke up too much in meetings or grumble about how slowly someone worked. One day, they sent me a message complaining about a teammate taking too long to finish a task. And for the first time, I pushed back.

    I said: “She does take time, but she does complete her work.”

    Not exactly a bold speech, but it was enough to draw a line. The response I got back was a crunchy face emoji — one of those moments where you know instantly you’ve embarrassed someone. From that point on, they stopped venting to me about other people. But they also went cold. Conversations turned short. The easy rapport we’d built evaporated.

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