When I first started out as a software engineer, I thought I could just keep my head down and focus on code. And for a while, that was true. But as I advanced in my career, I noticed the role was changing. Software engineering isn’t just about writing code—it’s also about communicating, collaborating, designing systems, and getting your ideas across clearly.

That means that yes, public speaking becomes part of the job. Not in a “you’re on stage every week” kind of way, but in the occasional presentation, design review, or knowledge-sharing session. And because those opportunities are infrequent—especially for ICs—it’s hard to get into a rhythm. You’re often dusting off your presentation nerves every single time. Unless you’re at a higher level where you’re constantly in meetings, cross-team discussions, and stakeholder presentations, public speaking tends to feel more like a pop quiz than a practiced skill.

I’ve always hated public speaking. But as I’ve grown in my career, I’ve been asked—sometimes “voluntold”—to speak up more often. So I’ve been learning to cope with the discomfort.

Why It’s So Intimidating

Public speaking feels intimidating for a few big reasons, especially for engineers like me who don’t do it regularly.

For one, there’s the fear of being judged. When you’re speaking in front of a group—whether 10 people or 100—it can feel like every word is being weighed. If your voice shakes or you pause too long, it feels like everyone notices, even though most people are just focused on the content.

Then there’s impostor syndrome—that nagging feeling that you’re not enough of an expert to speak on the topic. I’ve felt that firsthand. My first talk was on load balancing at my first job. I knew how we used it in our system, but I wasn’t well-versed in the general theory. That gap made me feel exposed, like I wasn’t qualified to be up there.

Another big reason? Lack of practice. As an IC-level engineer, public speaking isn’t a daily or even weekly thing. It happens occasionally, which means every time can feel like the first time. There’s no steady rhythm to get comfortable with. The nerves don’t get a chance to settle.

Finally, performance pressure plays a role. You want to seem confident, articulate, and prepared—especially in front of peers or leadership. That pressure can make you hyperaware of every little stumble.

All of that hit me during my first talk. I was so nervous that my voice shook—which made me more nervous once I realized people could tell. I ended up pacing outside and rehearsing aloud just to calm myself down. The content wasn’t the hardest part—it was managing all the noise in my head.

What’s Helped Me the Most

Here are a few tips and habits that have helped me get through public speaking situations without freezing up:

• Practice with Tongue Twisters: Yes, seriously. I use them to warm up my mouth and get my words flowing before I speak.
• Small Talk Before the Meeting Starts: If you have the opportunity, try to say hello and chat with a few folks casually. It makes the environment feel friendlier and gets you into a more relaxed headspace.
• Prep with Notes: Use bullet points instead of full scripts to stay on track but speak naturally.
• Walk While Practicing: Something about walking and talking helps me get in the zone. I’ve practiced entire talks outside this way.
• Visual Tricks: Like I mentioned, turning off the participant count or using a smaller view during virtual calls makes a big difference. For in-person speaking, focusing on a small group instead of the entire audience should help.

Still Learning, Still Growing

I’m at the point where I feel fairly confident speaking in front of a small group—around 10 people or fewer. I’m not sure how I’d feel with 100 people on the other side of the screen, but I do know I’m getting better. Slowly. With practice. With each new experience.

If you hate public speaking, you’re not alone. I’ve been there. And I’ll probably be there again. But you can make progress, one talk at a time.